He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
