he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
