i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
