Yo dont text me then not text me
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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