and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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