i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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