I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
