Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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