You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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