This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
