Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize