don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
