Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
