i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
