her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
