good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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