Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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