oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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