he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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