Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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