I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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