Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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