she was so not down for the gang bang
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
