Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
