I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize