You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
