areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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