Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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