I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
