with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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