Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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