Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
