Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
