There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
two words...techno handjob
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
