How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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