I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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