no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
