I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
