Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
