Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
pray to the hookup gods
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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