we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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