I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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