i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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