We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
