What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
