OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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