I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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