You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
