Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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