sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
