goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize