Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
