Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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