Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
