I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
