Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we're making bets on your personal life
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
