I wish I could teleport
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My vagina just recognized that song.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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