I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
