its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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