k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
