so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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