I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
